A Few Small Details

It's been about five days now since I lost my best friend, and things are beginning to get better. Last weekend was a lot more difficult than I would have expected, and I was surprised at how hard this has been for Lauren. She and Aiko had a bit of a love/dislike relationship, and there is no doubt that Aiko had some character flaws. But as with many things, you don't always know what you have until it is gone, and for the past few days, we've both really been missing Saint Aiko.

"It's just that I've gotten used to having you around..."
- 'Looks Like Rain' by Bob Weir/John Barlow

Right now, I am alone in my house for the first time in 13 years without my dog. And it feels really empty. Of course I miss her, but the things that I really notice is how much my daily routine revolved around her. Taking care of her was just part of life, and now, all of a sudden, those requirements are gone. I wake up in the morning and take two steps toward letting her out before I catch myself. Same thing at night. On Sunday afternoon I nearly scraped a bunch of table scraps onto the floor before realizing her dish was gone. I was working out in the yard this weekend, and there is a screen door that makes a pretty distinctive noise when opened -- I must've looked over a dozen times when someone opened it expecting to see Aiko shoving it open with her nose.

We've gotten a ton of nice emails from friends, so thanks to all of you. We tried to make ourselves feel better applying the 'she was not a person, just a dog' logic, and while true, it didn't help, so we really appreciated everyone taking time to remind us that she was more than that. People have reminded us of a lot of cool stories... hiking trips, mountain bike rides (she was an awesome trail dog) and stolen barbecues. I had forgotten how many years she slept at the foot of our bed, and about how much she used to like riding in my old jeep with the top down. It's been fun to recall some good memories -- not just of Aiko, but of fun days with friends and family, too.

I think this will be the last of the Aiko posts. We had 13 great years together, and I am glad for all of them. It wasn't always easy, but looking back, I know it was always worthwhile. I think it is time to move on and just remember all of the good times we had together.

A Tale of Two Dogs

It's been quite awhile between posts... due to a nice combination of a lack of free time and a lack of creative thought. It feels good to start typing again, although as you'll see in a second, I wish it was about a happier topic.

The Cady Family lost our good friend Aiko today. Her physical health had greatly diminished over the past two months, and we had to make the impossibly difficult decision to put her to sleep. I am sadder than I ever would have imagined, but at the same time, there is a sense of relief. She had a good, long life and to have kept her any longer would not have been fair to her. She went out quietly and with a happy belly full of cookies.

I have known for some time that today was a matter of 'when' and not 'if', so I guess that is where the sense of relief comes from. Moments after I said my final goodbye, my thoughts went to my friend Gregg and his dog, Otter, who passed away last winter. If there is a dog heaven, I'm sure that Aiko and Otter are happy to be reunited and are happily chasing tennis balls and chewing shoes.

I met Gregg and Otter in 1998 on the Boston Common. I was living in Beacon Hill, and used to take Aiko up to the Common in the morning and after work for a walk and a game of fetch. Aiko and Otter made quick friends (as was often the case at the park), but I happened to notice that Otter's owner had a UVM sweatshirt on. Being a former Vermonter, I introduced myself to Gregg and we became fast friends as well. From then on, most of my dog walks included meeting up with Gregg and Otter.

As Gregg and I became good friends, we were soon joined by my friend Sean who was also in the process of moving down from Vermont. Sean and I got an apartment together, and soon all three of us were friends. My memory gets a little vague on the timeline here, but soon after Sean moved down, I was invited to a party by a friend of mine. She told me there would be 'lots of single girls' and I should go. At the time, I was in and out of a very challenging relationship, but "in" at the time, so I had intended to pass on the invitation. As luck would have it, though, I happened to mention the party to Gregg and Sean over beers, and they forced me to take them along. At the party, Sean met a young lady named Colleen, and Gregg was introduced to her roommate, Alexa. I didn't meet anyone, which was fine, but was happy that my friends had a good night.

Gregg and Alexa and Sean and Colleen all began dating, and my challenging relationship finally ran its course, so I was now the only single guy left in the group. This was more than fine with me, and I began a period of self-discovery in 1999 which led to focusing on playing guitar, mountain biking and a fantastic backpacking trip in Yosemite. I guess you could say I spent some time finding myself, but I was never without my good friend Aiko. I had little interest in dating during that time, and frankly didn't even try. I had made another new friend, though -- Gregg had introduced me to his childhood friend Tyler, who lived just around the corner from us in Beacon Hill. Tyler would join us for beers now and again, and in the fall of 1999, I told him about a plan I had to rent a ski house in Vermont for the winter. I had a few people committed, but needed some additional folks. Tyler told me that he knew three girls looking for such an opportunity -- Jen, Nicole, and Lauren.

Once I met Lauren, my desire for isolation came to an abrupt end. I'll save you the details on the amount of diligence it took for me to finally get her to go out with me, but this is the part where I'm going to tie everything back to a sunny day on the Boston Common. Sean and Colleen are now married with two children, Gregg and Alexa are married with two children and, as you may have guessed, Lauren and I find ourselves in the same demographic category. Some may question the flow on this, but I really don't see another explanation -- just about 10 years ago two sweet Labs introduced themselves in the park, which led to a series of new friendships, which led to three marriages and six beautiful children. If Aiko or Otter weren't the personalities they were, maybe I wouldn't have met Gregg. If I didn't have a dog to walk in the park every day, maybe our paths never cross. What if Gregg hadn't been wearing the UVM sweatshirt? Maybe we all would have met some other way, but I just don't see it. It was a perfect storm of good karma, and I will always be convinced that a chance meeting in the park completely altered twelve lives that day. And that is a great legacy for our two dogs to leave behind.

I'm choking back some tears now, so I think it is high time I grabbed a beer and tried to think about something else. If you read this, please give Aiko and Otter a thought tonight, and maybe even throw out a toast for them.

I miss you already my friend... be well.