The Patient

So, the Cadyland ski season is off to a great start. New skis for Ty and Ally, new gear for everyone and shiny new passes to Smuggs. Snow has been plentiful in the mountains and I had last week off. All set up to get going.

And then we went. And on the first run of the first day of our season, we managed to accidentally navigate to Smuggler's Alley, which is a bumped up expert run. Now, if this were March, the kids would have been fine. But it is only December, the new skis are longer and the legs and confidence weren't there, yet. So, there was some trepidation and some refusal to navigate the bumps, and being the good dad that I am (or thought I was) I decided to bail Ally out by picking her up and skiing her down the remainder of the tough section at the top. Just get her down to an easier stretch, right? We've done that before -- always works out fine.

Except when it doesn't. And it didn't. If the road to hell is paved with good intentions, I suspect the road to the ER is paved by parents making poor decisions on ski slopes. About three turns in I managed to catch my own edge and slam poor Ally into the snow. The result is a broken right leg and a few weeks of casts and wheelchairs.

How do you feel lower than this as a parent? You know you'd break your own leg if it meant you could take it from her, but it doesn't work that way. Everyone tells me it's not my fault, I was trying to do the right thing, I shouldn't myself up, but they didn't do it. They don't have to know that if they hadn't fallen, none of this would have happened. As a veteran of many broken bones, I know she'll heal and be fine, and I know that there are families who have been through much greater trauma than this. So, adding some big-picture perspective helps. The more Ally improves, the less I dwell on my role, so we are both moving in the right direction, but it is still pretty hard. I think it's going to be awhile before I'll want to ski, though. Tough to have fun when I know she can't.

The good news is that Ally's prognosis is excellent and this really hasn't slowed her down at all. She told me when she got back from the ER that she didn't blame me and that it was the mountain's fault and not mine. Good to know my five-year-old has a more mature outlook than me. She has been an absolutely amazing little patient. She gets around in her chair, she has not complained ONCE, and she's the same cool little kid that she was before. In an odd way, it has been fun for me to take care of her and have her need me a little more than usual over the past week. She and I had a talked about 'silver linings' the other night -- I guess doing a little bit of extra bonding is ours. She told me she is going to ski again as soon as she is able.

There are only two conditions attached to her pending return to the slopes. She doesn't want to ski Smuggler's Alley again (understandable, but I bet she'll get over that one in time), and she doesn't want any more rides from Dad on difficult trails. I suspect that rule will stick.

Setting the WABAC Machine

"And then one day you find ten years have got behind you."

- Pink Floyd "Time"

There must be some mistake. I have no idea how it happened, but somehow I ended up on the mailing list for the 20th Reunion of the Kingswood Regional High School class of 1988. I remembered attending Kingswood, and I knew that my graduation was some time ago, but I couldn't fathom that it could have been 20 years ago. Never one to turn down an invitation, though, I went ahead and attended the reunion party last weekend. Much to my surprise, I recognized nearly everyone there and eventually came to the realization that this was, in fact, my graduating class and that it had actually been twenty years. Crazy. Pink Floyd was talking about ten years, but twenty didn't seem to take a great deal longer.

"Sherman, set the WABAC machine to..."
- Mr. Peabody

I've stayed close with quite a few folks from my class over the years, and to see them didn't feel unusual at all. If you stay in touch, you see the evolution and you are used to seeing everyone's lives changing over time -- you know their spouses, kids, careers, activities, etc. It's a little different for the rest of the crew though -- your mental image is still of being 18 on graduation day, and it's like jumping into a time machine to suddenly try to reconnect with everyone after (essentially) a lifetime has gone by. It's like seeing a friend's much younger sibling years later -- your memory is them as a nine-year old kid tagging along, but then suddenly that kid is a grown man who's been to college, has a job and raised a family. Once you see them, it takes you a minute to get your head wrapped around the changes, but once you have a chance to process it all and you realize they are just an older version of the person you remember. And that's really cool, because you are, too, and it would have been a pretty dull 20 years if nothing had changed since graduation day.

So, lots of catching up to do in just a few hours, but a really good report card overall. The class of 1988 seems to be largely happy, healthy and doing well. There are probably a lot of people who think their class was unique or special, but I'll go ahead and submit mine as well. A really great group of people, and I was pleasantly surprised by how seamlessly everyone seemed to be mesh together again. I especially enjoyed the overall lack of pretense -- lots of people from our class have good jobs, a nice car and probably a big house, but no one was asking. Everyone seemed to have their priorities properly aligned and we talked about families, kids, parents and friends. All of the things that twenty years away from High School should show you are truly important.

It was great going back in time to spend a few hours with some old friends, and I am genuinely looking forward to the 30th reunion. Just as long as it doesn't get here too fast.

Back to School

"Why don't you call me some time when you have no class?"
- Rodney Dangerfield asking out his busy professor in 'Back to School'

An underrated classic for sure -- the hilarity of a middle-aged dad going back to college with a bunch of kids half his age. I decided to head back myself this fall to pursue an MBA. So somehow, 20 years after I saw this movie, here I am, nearly living the same experience (although not looking for dates). Not sure if I'll be starting a fraternity or hanging out with the dive team, but so far, so good. And one cool thing about graduate school is that I don't seem to be the only one in my class who is on the downward slope towards 40 (although I may be winning that race).

I thought it would feel strange to step back into a classroom after being gone for so long. It occurred to me that I'd been out of school for 16 years, which means I've essentially been out of formal education for as long as I was in it. That didn't bother me too much, but my mom was quick to point out that it made her feel old. Sorry, mom. :-) In the end, though, it wasn't too bad stepping back in -- I did feel old in the bookstore -- everyone there was about 19, but once I realized there were no Trapper Keepers to be had and that people don't cut up brown paper bags to cover their textbooks anymore, I was good to go.

It's pretty clear from the initial workload that I am going to have to earn this degree. I've read more in the past 2 weeks than I probably had all summer, and from reviewing my syllabus, it doesn't seem like it's going to let up. That's all good though. My classes are interesting, and I've already got my mind working on some new things, which was a big driver for heading back. I've reached a point professionally and personally where I need to push myself in a new direction, and this feels like the right place to go.

At the same time, Ally and Ty are back at the Discovery Preschool for another year. This year they are in the three day class, and so far it's been great for them, too. I dropped them off last Friday, and the difference in their self-confidence from last year was very noticeable. They know all about their classroom, had lots of things to show me, but were also just fine with the fact that it was time for me to go. Perhaps even a bit more ready for me to leave than I was. It's a bit of a drive for us to get them there, but we really like the program and the teachers, and I think it's all worth it. We took a look at their syllabus at Parent's Night last night -- I think they'll be pretty busy too. There is more of a focus on 'play based learning' than I'll be getting, but somehow that seems appropriate. We'll work on Managerial Accounting together next year.

Now if I could only get them to comprehend why they get recess at school and I don't...

100 Down... 100 to go!

Last weekend Lauren and I completed the fourth annual running of the Heart of Vermont Relay on our 6 person team. As always, the course covers 100 scenic miles along VT Route 100, beginning at Stowe and ending at Okemo. Also, as always, our team was not the fastest or the best conditioned, but definitely had more fun than just about any other entrants. We were a little off our time from last year, coming in at just about 13.5 hours (or a team average of 8:13 per mile), but with a field that now includes 80 teams, I think our 33rd place finish overall was very respectable. Even more impressively, we were 7th out of 20 'Masters' teams. Masters means we're all over 30, but since most of us are running the final downhill approach towards 40, I'm feeling good about our effort.

The race is organized by a good friend of ours, and this year made a large donation to the Boys and Girls Club. It is such a unique event -- a team day in a sport that is usually exclusively about individual goals, an opportunity to support a great charity, and a great reason to keep my aging butt in shape -- I really have a great time. I have probably mentioned it before, but this race has literally changed my life. In 2005 when Rob first floated the idea of the race, I was cruising along toward 220 pounds and clinging to the the belief that I could recapture the glory days of high school soccer and college intramural hockey whenever I felt like turning it on. After wheezing through 2 miles of running with Lauren that first spring, I realized I was in some trouble. This race isn't a marathon, but it can't be faked, either. I think knowing that I had to do the training if I didn't want to let my team down kept me honest, and along the way I realized that getting myself back into shape was a pretty good goal. Four years and about 40 pounds later, I still think I have Rob and Lauren to thank for turning this aspect of my life around... it was the right event, right level of challenge and the right time for me.

So now that fitness has it proper place in my life again, it is time to seek a new challenge. As I mentioned in an earlier post, Lauren has really gotten turned on to cycling this summer (much to my delight), and tomorrow we're going to try to knock down another 100 miles in our first attempt at the Mad River Century ride. It's a "ride" and not a "race", so we're going to take it easy, ride with some friends and take full advantage of the food and water stops. My longest ride to date is 70 miles, so this is going to be a pretty good challenge. Look for an update post to follow sometime next week.

And don't worry... we're not going to rest on our laurels after this weekend... Lauren is already working to convince me that a half Ironman competition would be fun next year!

Summer Recap

Crazy to look at the calendar this morning and see that Labor Day is very much on the horizon. Partner up a couple of work trips over the next two weeks with a social weekend in Boston and there you go... Labor Day is basically here. This summer feels quick, but looking back, we managed to dodge the raindrops and get a lot of pretty cool stuff accomplished.

The coolest thing for the kids has been their nearly daily use of the pool. It's been fun to watch their comfort level rise -- from both of them basically refusing to get into the water in June to Ally swimming (for real) and Tyler launching Cannonballs off our deck in July was amazing to watch. We went from tentative chin-dips to total underwater submersion in a matter of weeks. A young Michael Phelps or Natalie Coughlin? Maybe or maybe not, but getting to that level of comfort in the water so quickly was awesome to witness.


We also had a fun (albeit wet) camping trip up to Grand Isle State Park, a very fun 5th of July Bash right here at Cadyland and managed to get a lot of home improvements completed as well.

Lauren has really thrown herself into cycling (although she also insists on continuing to train for the NYC Marathon). I am really psyched with this new development, as a) it gives me someone to ride with, and b) it validates any cycling purchases I end up wanting to make. Obviously, the second point is of more importance. There never seem to be enough hours in the day to get everything done, but we've both done an adequate job of getting out running and biking this summer, and will be looking forward to our fourth 100on100 race on Saturday followed by our first attempt at a century ride at the Mad River Century the following week. I think a few days off will be in order by August 24.

Two more weeks of summer to go... Hope yours has been a good one.

A Hard Rain

"It's a hard rain's a-gonna fall..."
- Bob Dylan

I looked out my office window yesterday and... yes that's right. The sun was actually out. Not only was it out, but it stayed out all day. Children were running around frightened in the streets and pets sought shelter from the mysterious glowing object in the sky. I nearly took the top off my Jeep, but then I came back to my senses. Yesterday was the first day in what seems like weeks without at least a little rain. I think Father's Day was nice all day, but it was sandwiched between torrential thunderstorms in the evenings before and after.

My sister lives in the Seattle area where it reportedly rains more than just about anywhere. I've heard varying reports on how much of that is reality vs. myth, but suffice to say, the threat of constant rain has been enough to keep me from entertaining thoughts of moving to the area. Now I am beginning to wonder if it could possibly be any wetter out West than it is here in VT. It's not as though it has rained every minute -- but there has been a constant threat pretty much every day in June. And while I usually don't let the weather dictate my activities -- these have been substantial thunderstorms and they really do put a damper on playing outside.

After yesterday I was encouraged and took a look at the forecast -- it seemed promising. But today it has all changed again and we're back to our soaking reality -- the winds are picking up and as you can see from the weather map, another hard rain is about to besiege northern VT. Lauren and I were talking about doing a long bike ride sometime in the next couple of days, but how can I compete against this forecast?

I ordered a soft top for my Jeep a couple weeks ago, and was expecting it this week. Sadly, it is now back ordered until the first week in July. Even more sadly, I'm not bummed out because I probably can't use it until then, anyway. I'm sure that like any good Newenglander I'll be telling people three weeks from now how we could really use some rain because we've had nothing but sun since the beginning of July, but for today, I say no mas! I am all stocked up with the constant rain. Time for a stretch of decent weather!

That's it for now -- I need to go roll up my windows.

A Few Small Details

It's been about five days now since I lost my best friend, and things are beginning to get better. Last weekend was a lot more difficult than I would have expected, and I was surprised at how hard this has been for Lauren. She and Aiko had a bit of a love/dislike relationship, and there is no doubt that Aiko had some character flaws. But as with many things, you don't always know what you have until it is gone, and for the past few days, we've both really been missing Saint Aiko.

"It's just that I've gotten used to having you around..."
- 'Looks Like Rain' by Bob Weir/John Barlow

Right now, I am alone in my house for the first time in 13 years without my dog. And it feels really empty. Of course I miss her, but the things that I really notice is how much my daily routine revolved around her. Taking care of her was just part of life, and now, all of a sudden, those requirements are gone. I wake up in the morning and take two steps toward letting her out before I catch myself. Same thing at night. On Sunday afternoon I nearly scraped a bunch of table scraps onto the floor before realizing her dish was gone. I was working out in the yard this weekend, and there is a screen door that makes a pretty distinctive noise when opened -- I must've looked over a dozen times when someone opened it expecting to see Aiko shoving it open with her nose.

We've gotten a ton of nice emails from friends, so thanks to all of you. We tried to make ourselves feel better applying the 'she was not a person, just a dog' logic, and while true, it didn't help, so we really appreciated everyone taking time to remind us that she was more than that. People have reminded us of a lot of cool stories... hiking trips, mountain bike rides (she was an awesome trail dog) and stolen barbecues. I had forgotten how many years she slept at the foot of our bed, and about how much she used to like riding in my old jeep with the top down. It's been fun to recall some good memories -- not just of Aiko, but of fun days with friends and family, too.

I think this will be the last of the Aiko posts. We had 13 great years together, and I am glad for all of them. It wasn't always easy, but looking back, I know it was always worthwhile. I think it is time to move on and just remember all of the good times we had together.

A Tale of Two Dogs

It's been quite awhile between posts... due to a nice combination of a lack of free time and a lack of creative thought. It feels good to start typing again, although as you'll see in a second, I wish it was about a happier topic.

The Cady Family lost our good friend Aiko today. Her physical health had greatly diminished over the past two months, and we had to make the impossibly difficult decision to put her to sleep. I am sadder than I ever would have imagined, but at the same time, there is a sense of relief. She had a good, long life and to have kept her any longer would not have been fair to her. She went out quietly and with a happy belly full of cookies.

I have known for some time that today was a matter of 'when' and not 'if', so I guess that is where the sense of relief comes from. Moments after I said my final goodbye, my thoughts went to my friend Gregg and his dog, Otter, who passed away last winter. If there is a dog heaven, I'm sure that Aiko and Otter are happy to be reunited and are happily chasing tennis balls and chewing shoes.

I met Gregg and Otter in 1998 on the Boston Common. I was living in Beacon Hill, and used to take Aiko up to the Common in the morning and after work for a walk and a game of fetch. Aiko and Otter made quick friends (as was often the case at the park), but I happened to notice that Otter's owner had a UVM sweatshirt on. Being a former Vermonter, I introduced myself to Gregg and we became fast friends as well. From then on, most of my dog walks included meeting up with Gregg and Otter.

As Gregg and I became good friends, we were soon joined by my friend Sean who was also in the process of moving down from Vermont. Sean and I got an apartment together, and soon all three of us were friends. My memory gets a little vague on the timeline here, but soon after Sean moved down, I was invited to a party by a friend of mine. She told me there would be 'lots of single girls' and I should go. At the time, I was in and out of a very challenging relationship, but "in" at the time, so I had intended to pass on the invitation. As luck would have it, though, I happened to mention the party to Gregg and Sean over beers, and they forced me to take them along. At the party, Sean met a young lady named Colleen, and Gregg was introduced to her roommate, Alexa. I didn't meet anyone, which was fine, but was happy that my friends had a good night.

Gregg and Alexa and Sean and Colleen all began dating, and my challenging relationship finally ran its course, so I was now the only single guy left in the group. This was more than fine with me, and I began a period of self-discovery in 1999 which led to focusing on playing guitar, mountain biking and a fantastic backpacking trip in Yosemite. I guess you could say I spent some time finding myself, but I was never without my good friend Aiko. I had little interest in dating during that time, and frankly didn't even try. I had made another new friend, though -- Gregg had introduced me to his childhood friend Tyler, who lived just around the corner from us in Beacon Hill. Tyler would join us for beers now and again, and in the fall of 1999, I told him about a plan I had to rent a ski house in Vermont for the winter. I had a few people committed, but needed some additional folks. Tyler told me that he knew three girls looking for such an opportunity -- Jen, Nicole, and Lauren.

Once I met Lauren, my desire for isolation came to an abrupt end. I'll save you the details on the amount of diligence it took for me to finally get her to go out with me, but this is the part where I'm going to tie everything back to a sunny day on the Boston Common. Sean and Colleen are now married with two children, Gregg and Alexa are married with two children and, as you may have guessed, Lauren and I find ourselves in the same demographic category. Some may question the flow on this, but I really don't see another explanation -- just about 10 years ago two sweet Labs introduced themselves in the park, which led to a series of new friendships, which led to three marriages and six beautiful children. If Aiko or Otter weren't the personalities they were, maybe I wouldn't have met Gregg. If I didn't have a dog to walk in the park every day, maybe our paths never cross. What if Gregg hadn't been wearing the UVM sweatshirt? Maybe we all would have met some other way, but I just don't see it. It was a perfect storm of good karma, and I will always be convinced that a chance meeting in the park completely altered twelve lives that day. And that is a great legacy for our two dogs to leave behind.

I'm choking back some tears now, so I think it is high time I grabbed a beer and tried to think about something else. If you read this, please give Aiko and Otter a thought tonight, and maybe even throw out a toast for them.

I miss you already my friend... be well.

Ski Racers!

Just thought I'd follow up the last post with a few pictures of the kids running through the slalom course at Smuggs. We'll be out again this weekend (20" of new snow to play in!), so keep your eyes open for my two little burners if you happen to be at the mountain.

Here is Ty making a turn near the bottom of the course:Ally getting ready to start her race:

Ty crossing the Finish Line:

The course is actually a lot steeper than it looks in these pictures. Definitely a legitimate Intermediate course. It is so fun to watch them race. My future Olympians! :-)

Graduation Day

January 27, 2008. Graduation day from Morse Mountain! After dealing with the crazy lines and yard sales that sometimes litters the slopes of the beginner trails at Smuggs for the past two Saturdays, Lauren and I decided to offer a new alternative to Ty and Ally yesterday. We took them on up to the *big* mountains at Smuggs -- Sterling and Madonna. There was just a bit of trepidation at first (which I now know had nothing to do with skiing and everything to do with a fear that we wouldn't go to the Fun Zone for apres' ski), but once we got through those first 10 minutes, it was an awesome graduation.

We spent the day on the mid-mountain lift chair (Madonna II), which, if you look closely at the trail map, doesn't offer any beginner routes back to the base. Nothing but intermediate and expert trails. I really wish we'd brought the video camera with us -- both Ally and Ty ripped right down a number of different intermediate slopes and never missed a beat. Tyler even managed to run through the slalom course three times -- setting a new personal best of 81.7 seconds. One of my favorite moments was when he caught the very last gate and crashed through the finish on his first try... he came up in tears and I thought maybe he'd hurt himself. Nope. Just mad that he'd missed a gate. I love it.

I was mentioning to someone the other day how great it is to have the kids latch on to something like this -- if they stick with it, we're going to have some really great family vacations. And beyond that, how fun it is to teach kids. When you compare them with a teenager or adult trying to learn the same thing, the differences are striking. The adults have some level of fear, they worry about whether or not they will look silly, and they tend to try to advance too quickly beyond their real level. The little kids that are out there (not just mine) are so great because they are just having fun -- no real cares or concerns. They accept your instruction and can't wait to take on the challenge.

I also said to Lauren last night that when we first started taking Ally and Ty with us, I had a little feeling of 'woe is me' at the thought of exchanging my tree and bump runs for fun and games with Mogul Mouse. But it has really been just the opposite. I still enjoy my *grown up* ski days, but watching them progress so quickly has been awesome. And after yesterday, I suspect we are not too far away from the woods and the bumps.

Winter Depression

Wow. The ski season was off to such an amazing start. Three feet of snow (at least) before Christmas and just crazy-good powder. Ally and Ty have already been on the mountain at least 8 times and are really finding their groove. I was planning to take a couple of early morning runs last week, since my grown-up skiing time has been somewhat limited. On January 5th it was all so good. And then, four days later, the snow is just gone.

Thinking back to about a year ago, I was really freaked out about climate change. We had no snow to speak of, and the skiing conditions were terrible. But then, we had the Blizzard of 2007 on Valentine's Day, and the rest of the season saw pretty much a daily snowstorm and some of the best conditions I can recall. And then it was suddenly Thanksgiving, and on came the snow again, as if it had never left. Ski areas were open early, December brought a number of big storms, we had a nice White Christmas and everything was good.

This melt is such a drag because everyone else is getting pounded with snow. We've missed two straight big storms that hit many other parts of New England, but somehow skipped the folks who probably craved it the most. And if you break it down, it's really been a perfect ski winter temperature and snow-wise, save for a lousy 72 hours when it suddenly became spring.

The good news is that winter has been back for the past week or so (in terms of temperature, anyway) so the ski areas have probably rebounded a bit with snowmaking and small amounts of natural snow. We're supposed to get a little tonight and into tomorrow morning, and since Lauren is taking me to Sugarbush for my b-day tomorrow, I'm going to be optimistic and assume that we'll get a lot more than predicted.

I hope this winter ends up as good as last winter. Considering that I get to hang out at Breckenridge and Silverton later this year, I am assuming it will. But as I think about things on the night before what is effectively 'mid-life' for me I realize that you have to take advantage of opportunities when they are available and make the most out of them. There was some talk of bagging a ski day tomorrow due to lack of snow -- fortunately, we squashed that idea. In no way could a day of less than optimal conditions be less fun than sitting at work. In that light, I realize I should have had the kids out last weekend -- even if the snow wasn't perfect, it still would've been a day on the hill. We'll make sure they get out this weekend. The only way to break through snow depression issues is to get out my boards and enjoy the snow we have. We'll bust out of the winter blues in fine fashion tomorrow, and maybe appease the snow gods.