The Patient

So, the Cadyland ski season is off to a great start. New skis for Ty and Ally, new gear for everyone and shiny new passes to Smuggs. Snow has been plentiful in the mountains and I had last week off. All set up to get going.

And then we went. And on the first run of the first day of our season, we managed to accidentally navigate to Smuggler's Alley, which is a bumped up expert run. Now, if this were March, the kids would have been fine. But it is only December, the new skis are longer and the legs and confidence weren't there, yet. So, there was some trepidation and some refusal to navigate the bumps, and being the good dad that I am (or thought I was) I decided to bail Ally out by picking her up and skiing her down the remainder of the tough section at the top. Just get her down to an easier stretch, right? We've done that before -- always works out fine.

Except when it doesn't. And it didn't. If the road to hell is paved with good intentions, I suspect the road to the ER is paved by parents making poor decisions on ski slopes. About three turns in I managed to catch my own edge and slam poor Ally into the snow. The result is a broken right leg and a few weeks of casts and wheelchairs.

How do you feel lower than this as a parent? You know you'd break your own leg if it meant you could take it from her, but it doesn't work that way. Everyone tells me it's not my fault, I was trying to do the right thing, I shouldn't myself up, but they didn't do it. They don't have to know that if they hadn't fallen, none of this would have happened. As a veteran of many broken bones, I know she'll heal and be fine, and I know that there are families who have been through much greater trauma than this. So, adding some big-picture perspective helps. The more Ally improves, the less I dwell on my role, so we are both moving in the right direction, but it is still pretty hard. I think it's going to be awhile before I'll want to ski, though. Tough to have fun when I know she can't.

The good news is that Ally's prognosis is excellent and this really hasn't slowed her down at all. She told me when she got back from the ER that she didn't blame me and that it was the mountain's fault and not mine. Good to know my five-year-old has a more mature outlook than me. She has been an absolutely amazing little patient. She gets around in her chair, she has not complained ONCE, and she's the same cool little kid that she was before. In an odd way, it has been fun for me to take care of her and have her need me a little more than usual over the past week. She and I had a talked about 'silver linings' the other night -- I guess doing a little bit of extra bonding is ours. She told me she is going to ski again as soon as she is able.

There are only two conditions attached to her pending return to the slopes. She doesn't want to ski Smuggler's Alley again (understandable, but I bet she'll get over that one in time), and she doesn't want any more rides from Dad on difficult trails. I suspect that rule will stick.