"You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely."
~Author Unknown
I had meant to write this before launching over the hill, but, as with everything else in my world, a few weeks late will have to cut it. I am now a month into my forties. Crazy. I still remember looking at Aiko when I was twenty-five and not being able to fathom the idea that forty was close enough that she might still be with me when I hit it. Sadly, she came up a few years short of our shared goal... happily, I made it. There have probably been a few too many nights of excess, a few too many yard sales in the woods, and a general lack of any real "growing up" over those fifteen years, but I do think there has been at least a bit of a maturing process along the way.
"Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing."
~Oliver Wendell Holmes
I have not quit playing, and I don't intend to. If I say so myself, I can still rip up a bump run as well as most skiers I encounter, but then at the same time, I look at the kids in the terrain park and think we are doing two completely different activities. When I was their age, a spread eagle or a backscratcher was a crazy cool trick from a jump. No one was throwing backflips. Snowboarding was a fringe sport that had just been invented, and now Sean White is competing in the Olympics and winning gold after throwing a 'double McTwist 1260'. Nuts. Lauren has been passing on a lot of tips from the instructors at Smuggs this year. Their word for guys like me? Old School.
I can still play Tuesday night hoops, still finish a century ride and will be splitting a marathon with Lauren in May. I hit more live concerts now than I ever did in my twenties... I'm still playing, right?
"Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul."
~Samuel Ullman
So, here is where things get a little interesting. I look back at myself at 18 or 20. My goals in life were nothing but material goods. I wanted to make loads of cash and spend it on stuff. College was a good experience in that it broadened my horizons past that vision, but still, I graduated from a school that urged me to get a job in the professional sector immediately after graduation. No taking a year to see the world. No Peace Corps. No backpacking trip to Alaska. I think that year at 22 is probably my only serious regret... you have your whole life to work, but if you grow into kids and a mortgage and two cars like most do, your window to live out of a backpack is a small one.
Somewhere along the way I realized that my ideals for financial security weren't so misguided, as that is the nature of our society. The misguided part were the goals I was trying to achieve by working. Driving a BMW doesn't necessarily mean you've accomplished something in life that can't be achieved in a Dodge. I realize now, however, that my ability to earn a decent living allows me to spend the time doing the things that really do matter. Spending time with family and friends. Doing volunteer work. Donating to charities. Those are the things that bring you real happiness. And I guess that as I look back over the time since college, meeting the right girl and starting a family together has really changed my priorities, and in a really good way. We're not getting rich, per se, but we're doing alright. And much more than I understood twenty years ago, I know exactly what I am working to achieve. I think that building that set of priorities and ideals has a lot to do with the fact that I still feel like a pretty young forty.
"The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time..."
- James Taylor
That's the hardest part. I know where my priorities are and what I want to achieve, and yet still get bogged down in the details that don't really matter. I don't mind getting older, but I do seem to worry a lot about how quickly the time passes. Could my kids really be six years old? Have I known Lauren for a decade now? Those are good things, but I remember the beginnings of those relationships as if they were yesterday, not years ago. And I hate the thought of waking up ten years from now and writing about turning fifty without feeling like I took it all in. So, that's the balancing point. I need to work hard enough to get where we can all relax and enjoy life, without missing out on relaxing and enjoying life in the meantime. Tough to do. When I figure it out, I'll let you know.
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